The last two weeks have unfolded quickly and yet slowly. Each day we are hit with new waves of regulations, and we scramble to make adjustments to a new normal that we hope will conclude quickly. As I’ve transitioned to online therapy with my clients, I’ve learned of intimate stories of loss that this pandemic has brought upon our country and world.
We are all experiencing loss right now. Loss of freedom. Loss of a loved one. Loss of control. Loss of jobs or income or financial security. Loss of dreams and plans for celebrating graduations or birthdays or weddings. Loss of education. Loss of friendships and loss of goodbyes. Loss of homes and businesses. Loss of vacation plans. Loss of structure and schedules. Loss of childcare. Loss of sleep and comfort. Loss of safety.
I’ve listened to countless people share feelings of guilt and shame at having difficulty adjusting to their respective losses. I keep wondering- What if we thought of this experience as a shared grief that we are all going through together, rather than comparing levels of loss and beating ourselves up?
Grief levels us. One degree of loss can have the same psychological outcomes as another. Humans often react to grief through experiencing a variety of emotions (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), commonly referred to as the “Stages of Grief” (Kubler-Ross). Today, grief researchers and therapists accept the notion that these stages are fluid. Meaning that people can jump from one “stage” or emotion to another in any given moment.
Okay, we are all grieving. So what do we do?
Have patience- Have patience for yourself and others. Take the time you need to grieve. There is no timeline to “get over” your loss. Others may be in denial or anger while you’re experiencing acceptance or vice versa. Acknowledge that everyone is on their own journey, and we are all experiencing the same collective grief.
Express empathy- Let’s not try to fix the grief, but feel the feelings as they arise and acknowledge the grief that others are experiencing. Let others know you’re in this with them. No one is in this alone.
Show compassion- We are all in need of love and compassion, especially right now. Engage in self care routines often, however that might look for you. Send (virtual!) love to friends and family. Express kindness and understanding to those around you.
In this together with you,
Jessica
ps- if you’d like a space to process your grief, please reach out to me using the contact submission tab on my website or email me at jessica@jessicaglenntherapy.com. I’m currently seeing clients virtually from my Dallas ‘home office’ (closet turned office), and would love to talk with you.